Summerfall

Too Much Crap

Too much crap
I got too much crap
Too much crap
Too much crap
Too much crap

Too much crap
Running ‘round my head
Too much crap
Sitting on my bed
Too much crap
out in my shed

Too much crap
Too much crap

I got too too too too too too too too too much crap
I got too too too too too too too too too much crap

Too much crap

Too much crap
In my home
Too much crap
On my phone
Too much crap
To condone
I got too much crap
Too much crap
Too much crap

Too much crap
In my brand new car
Too much crap
To go very far
Too much crap
This is too bizarre
I got too much crap
Too much crap

I got too too too too too too too too too much crap
I got too too too too too too too too too much crap

I got too much crap
Too much crap
Running out my drain
Too much crap
Filling up my brain
Too much crap
On this plugin chain
I got too much crap
Too much crap

Packed to the rooftop still don’t got enough
Keep bringing it in
I need all this stuff

Got some junk and then I got some more
Found it at my local Goodwill store
I dug in the bins and bothered the clerk
But I found this thing and it still works

Too much crap

Too much crap
Coming off her tongue
Too much crap
And I’m way too young
Too much crap
It’s like getting stung
I got too much crap
Too much crap

I got too too too too too too too too too much crap
Too much crap
I got too too too too too too too too too much crap

Too much too much crap

I got too too too too too too too too too much crap
I got too too too too too too too too too much crap

I got too much crap

Asking For A Friend

There’s something I been meaning to ask
There’s something I need to know
How do you remove the blood stains
From an old clock radio?

Let’s make this clear
It ain’t about me I’m not that kind of guy
It’s someone else who I will not identify

I’m asking for a friend
Who you have never met
I’m asking for a friend
‘Cause he’s got no internet
No internet

There’s something I been meaning to ask
There’s something I need to know
How do you prove to the sheriff that
You haven’t been to Mexico?

There’s something I been meaning to ask
There’s something I need to know
How can you prove you have a black belt
If you don’t know taekwondo?

Let’s make this clear
It ain’t about me I’m not that kind of guy
It’s someone else who I will not identify

I’m asking for a friend
Who you have never met
I’m asking for a friend
‘Cause he’s got no internet
No internet

There’s something I been meaning to ask
There’s something I need to know
Can I claim as a business expense
A trip to a bordello?

There’s something I been meaning to ask
There’s something I need to know
Can you purge a felony offense if
It was a long time ago?

There’s something I been meaning to ask
There’s something I need to know
How do you pass off an old picture as
A legitimate Van Gogh?

Let’s make this clear
It ain’t about me I’m not that kind of guy
It’s someone else who I will not identify

I’m asking for a friend
Who you have never met
I’m asking for a friend
‘Cause he’s got no internet
I’m asking for a friend
Who you have never met
I’m asking for a friend
‘Cause he’s got no internet
No internet

Too Much Information

That’s too much information
That’s too much information

You told me about itchy anal glands
Then you scratched and then wanted to shake hands

That’s too much information

Don’t need to know if you’re boxers or you’re briefs
Don’t need to hear all your religious beliefs

That’s too much information
We’ve never been that close
That’s too much information
And I think that’s pretty gross

That’s too much information
That’s way more than I want
That’s too much information
I’m not your confidant

That’s too much information
And I think that’s pretty gross
That’s too much information

Heard about your gas in a meeting by zoom
We better not meet in the conference room

That’s too much information

She let me in on her financial plans
Sent me an invite to her only fans

Don’t need to see all your scars and your tattoos
Don’t need to smell all the things that you excuse

That’s too much information

That’s too much information
That’s not what I want to see
That’s too much information
That’s much too much for me

That’s too much information
That’s too much information

He asked me if I want a swinging life
He showed me pictures of his naked wife

That’s TMI
That’s too much information

Told me about his colon parasite
Right about the time I was taking a bite

That’s TMI
That’s too much information

Don’t need to know if you’re boxers or you’re briefs
Don’t need to hear all your religious beliefs

That’s too much information
We’ve never been that close
That’s too much information
And I think that’s pretty gross

That’s too much information
That’s way more than I want
That’s too much information
I’m not your confidant

That’s too much information
That’s too much information
And I think that’s pretty gross
That’s too much information
And I think that’s pretty gross
That’s too much information

Won’t Be Happy

She’s moping in the kitchen
She’s moping in the hall
Moping on the bathroom floor
Just rolled up in a ball

Got no clue what brought this on
Just another day
Got no idea just what to do
To make it go away

Won’t be happy
Won’t be happy
Won’t be happy
Won’t be happy

She’s just too down

She’s quiet in the bedroom
She’s quiet by the door
Silent at the kitchen sink
Mute in the candy store

Why she quiet I don’t know
Musta missed it all
What she seen or what she done
Maybe its alcohol

Won’t be happy
Won’t be happy
Won’t be happy
Won’t be happy

She’s just too tight
She’s just too tight

Won’t be happy
Won’t be happy
Won’t be happy
Won’t be
Won’t be
Won’t be

She’s nasty in the bedroom
She’s pouting in the store
Daggers at the dinner table
Looks like this is war

She’s righteous in the foyer
She’s pious in the hall
Smug and sanctimonious
Looks like she’s above it all

Where this come from who can say
Wasn’t me I guess

What to do what can I say
I’m a work in progress

Won’t be happy
Won’t be happy
Won’t be happy
Won’t be happy

She’s just too mean
Be happy

Won’t be happy
Won’t be happy
Won’t be happy
Won’t be happy

She’s just too right
Be happy

Won’t be
Won’t be
Won’t be
Won’t be
Won’t be
Won’t be happy

She’s just too mean

Summer time
It was summer time
Thought I made it easy
Thought I made it right
Thought I thought of everything that would keep us in tight

It was a lousy call
It was the alcohol
It was a summerfall
It was summer

Summer time
It would never end
The sun always golden
The night was lukewarm
We would never ever ever see an ice cold storm

Summer time
It would always be
There were never changes
No alterations
But the day came when we stopped the booze and whiskey runs

It was summer
It was a lousy call
It was the alcohol
It was a summerfall
It was summer

It was a lousy call
It was the alcohol
It was a summerfall
It was summer

It was a lousy call
It was the alcohol
It was a summerfall
It was

Summer time
It would never be
One day it was over
That day came the rain
Cold as a knife that went straight to the jugular vein
It was autumn time
It would always be
Wish I had been ready
Shoulda planned ahead
Shoulda seen it coming and avoided the bloodshed

It was summer
It was a lousy call
It was the alcohol
It was a summerfall
It was summer

It was a lousy call
It was the alcohol
It was a summerfall
It was summer

Over It

Saw Spiderman and all the intrigue
Saw Batman and the Justice League
Caught all the Avengers blitzkrieg
Now I got that Marvel fatigue

Been through once and
I been through twice
First time it was
Just kinda nice

(But now it’s)
Way too hot or
It’s way too cold
But maybe it’s
Just getting old

Over it
Over it
I’m just so damn over it
(I just) can’t go round this shit again
Let’s just do it
Every now and then
I’m so over it

I used to love Red Bull and Green Monster
Call me an energy connoisseur
Energy drinks I’m no amateur
But that no longer beats my coffee liqueur

Old Jack Daniel’s that will leave you calm
Vodka strong enough to use to embalm
Coffee beans all the way from Vietnam
I think I’ve had my last cold Jagerbomb

Been through once and
I been through twice
First time it was
Just kinda nice

(But now it’s)
Way too hot or
It’s way too cold
But maybe it’s
Just getting old

Over it
Over it
I’m just so damn over it
I’m just
Over it
Over it
I’m just so damn over it
(I just) can’t go round this shit again
Let’s just do it
Every now and then
I’m so over it

I used to just love that shit that you do
Thought it was something just between us two
But now it’s just leftover residue
Like dog shit on the bottom of your tennis shoe

I’m sick and tired of this convenience store
Where I’m the dog that you whistle for
And I have to come in through the doggy door
I ain’t gonna play this game no more

Been through once and
I been through twice
First time it was
Just kinda nice

Over it
Over it
I’m just so damn over it
(I just) can’t go round
this shit again
Let’s just do it
Every now and then

Over it
Over it
I’m just so damn over it
(I just) can’t go round this shit again
Let’s just do it
Every now and then
I’m so over it

Senior Discount

Checking out one day
at the closest Einstein bagel store.
And I noticed that the price was not the same
as it was the week before.

So I looked real close at the receipt
that the girl had handed to me.
There it was in blue and white
Saved a dollar twenty three.

How can this be I wondered loud
Can this be the right amount?
Looked again and saw those words
Senior citizen discount!

Get my senior discount
Before it disappears
Want my senior discount
Payback for my years
Gotta have my senior discount
To wipe away my tears
Got my senior discount
And that’s music to my ears

I thought it all bad
When you’re older than dirt
And about to stop and retire

That it just got worse
And your knees will hurt
And you lose your sex desire.

But now I know
that they cut you slack
With this senior discount thing

Use it when you eat
and use it when you sleep
Just about everything

Get my senior discount
Before it disappears
Want my senior discount
Payback for my years
Gotta have my senior discount
To wipe away my tears
Got my senior discount
And that’s music to my ears

And as it turns out
I need a new car
So I went to the Tesla place.

And I asked for my discount
right then and there
And put on my poker face.

And even though
I talked real nice and
wore my best apparel.

He told me no
right to my face
Said “This ain’t the Cracker Barrel”.

I think about it
every now and then
And it makes me kinda sad.
But saving some pennies
here and there
Can’t be all that bad.

Get my senior discount
Before it disappears
Want my senior discount
Payback for my years
Gotta have my senior discount
To wipe away my tears
Got my senior discount
And that’s music to my ears

Christmas Rush

It’s Christmas
It’s Christmas
It’s Christmas
It’s Christmas time it’s
It’s Christmas
It’s Christmas
It’s Christmas
It’s Christmas time
It snuck up on me, it does it every year
Christmas is upon us, better get it in gear

Christmas comes just once a year so
Better get ready to bring the cheer.
Christmas comes just once a year
Why do I have so much fear?

Is this what it should be?
Not sure I wanna know.
Do I have to do this?
Can I just let it go?

Christmas Rush
I’m in a Christmas Rush
I’m in a Christmas Rush
I’m in a Christmas Rush

It’s Christmas
It’s Christmas
It’s Christmas
It’s Christmas time it’s
It’s Christmas
It’s Christmas
It’s Christmas
It’s Christmas time

Gotta make a list, gotta check it twice
Gotta buy the presents, can’t care about the price

Gotta get the tree up, gotta hang the lights
Let the neighbors see we ain’t just troglodytes

Gotta find tinsel, hang up the mistletoe
Gotta hang the wreath with the ribbons and the snow

Christmas comes just once a year so
Better get ready to bring the cheer.
Christmas comes just once a year
Why do I have so much fear?

Is this what it feels like?
Don’t want to Go too far.
Am I that prepared for
Another Christmas star?

Christmas Rush
I’m in a Christmas Rush
I’m in a Christmas Rush
I’m in a Christmas Rush

Where’s the closest Walmart? Gotta get there now!
Forgot my lady’s gift please don’t ask me how!

It’s Christmas
It’s Christmas
It’s Christmas
It’s Christmas time it’s
It’s Christmas
It’s Christmas
It’s Christmas
It’s Christmas time

Christmas comes just once a year so
Better get ready to bring the cheer.
Christmas comes just once a year
Why do I have so much fear?

Why was I so stressed out about the odds and ends?
How could I forget my family and my friends?

Now that it’s Christmas I didn’t get it done
Forgot what it’s about, didn’t have any fun.

Who cares about the wreath or the Christmas tree?
Forget all that stuff, let’s have a party!

It’s Christmas
Christmas
Christmas
Christmas

Christmas Rush
I got a Christmas Rush
I got a Christmas Rush
I got a Christmas Rush!

Christmas Rush
I have a Christmas Rush
I have a Christmas Rush
I got a Christmas Rush!

Christmas Rush
I love a Christmas Rush
I love a Christmas Rush
I love a Christmas Rush

Let’s All Go

We’re putting on our coats and we’re moving towards the door
Deciding where to go it’s a nasty chore
So we call on the troops try to keep it to a roar
See a raise of hands let’s avoid a war

Let’s all go

Let’s all go to the big art show
Skip the status quo
And they have a Van Gogh
Let’s all go
To the big art show

We’re standing in the hallway wondering what’s next
Keys in my hand and I don’t want to text.
We’re standing in the hallway momma’s got her purse
We’ll all go together better or worse

Let’s all go
Let’s all go
It’s more fun
if we all go so
Let’s all go to
Let’s all go
To the place where we will be

Let’s all go
Let’s all go

Let’s all go to the big rock show
With the loud audio
Dance with the tempo
Let’s all go
To the big rock show

Let’s all go to the rodeo
If we move too slow
Might be touch and go
Let’s all go
To the rodeo

We’re standing in the hallway wondering what’s next
Keys in my hand and I don’t want to text.
We’re standing in the hallway momma’s got her purse
We’ll all go together better or worse

Let’s all go
Let’s all go
It’s more fun
if we all go so
Let’s all go to
Let’s all go
To the place where we will be

Let’s all go
Let’s all go

Let’s all go to the big game show
Where you gotta know
All about Glasgow
Let’s all go
To the big game show

Let’s all go to the Goodwill store
They got crap galore
You can really score
Let’s all go
To the Goodwill store

We’re standing in the hallway wondering what’s next
Keys in my hand and I don’t want to text.

Let’s all go
Let’s all go
It’s more fun
if we all go so
Let’s all go to
Let’s all go
To the place where we will be

Let’s all go
Let’s all go

Let’s all go to the picture show
See Mia Farrow
Lassie or Cujo
Let’s all go
To the picture show

Let’s all go
Let’s all go

Let’s all go
Let’s all go
It’s more fun
if we all go so
Let’s all go to
Let’s all go
To the place where we will be