On My Way to the Liquor Store
On my way to the liquor store
Gonna pick up a bottle or two
On my way to the liquor store
Gonna get a cold microbrew
On my way to the liquor store
Gonna get baby momma some wine
On my way to the liquor store
And it better be top of the line
On my way to the liquor store
Rockin’ my fedora hat
On my way to the liquor store
Lookin’ all aristocrat
On my way to the liquor store
Strutting in my shiny shoes
On my way to the liquor store
Got not plans to abuse
On my way to the liquor store
Know for just what to seek
On my way to the liquor store
Been that kind of a week.
Another Christmas Song
It’s a Christmas song
Please sing along
To a Christmas song
Can’t sing it wrong
Just another Christmas
Just another Christmas
its just another Christmas song
Put down the yule log
That’s enough eggnog
Just try not to get it wrong
It’s a Christmas card
like that movie Die Hard
Got a Christmas card
You can disregard
Just another Christmas
Just another Christmas
its just another Christmas song
Got my ugly sweater
And my Santa letter
I’ll try not to get it wrong
Ain’t got no snow
but I got the mistletoe
Ain’t got no snow
but I got the house aglow
It’s a Christmas song
Won’t you sing along
With a Christmas song
shouldn’t last too long
Just another Christmas
Just another Christmas
its just another Christmas song
Got Rudolph and Prancer
And nutcracker dancer
I’ll try not to get it wrong
Just another Christmas
Just another Christmas
its just another Christmas song
Would ya now would ya now
Would ya now would ya now
Would ya now sing a long?
It’s a Christmas song
Please sing along
To a Christmas song
Can’t sing it wrong
It’s a Christmas song
Won’t you sing along
With a Christmas song
shouldn’t last too long
Psycho Logical
He says
The world is flat
And the pictures are counterfeit
He says
NASA lies ‘cause
It’s making bank from Federal mint
He’s got evidence and common sense
I ain’t gonna lie
He’s got photographs he’s lots of laughs
Hope we don’t all die
It’s
Psycho
Logical logical
Psycho logical
Psycho logical
He says
Illuminati
Runs everything from here to Brazil
He says
No one says a thing
They got that eye on the dollar bill
He’s got evidence and common sense
I ain’t gonna lie
He’s got photographs he’s lots of laughs
Hope we don’t all die
It’s
Psycho
Logical logical
Psycho logical
Psycho logical
We’ve seen it a thousand times
Seems right to go along
There’s always a good reason
For doing something wrong
He says
That Covid was made
By Chinese doctors in a bat
He says
The virus kills you
If you are a democrat.
He says
Vaccine don’t work
and it will turn your face flat
He says
Vaccine’s a chip
so Bill Gates will know where you’re at
He’s got evidence and common sense
I ain’t gonna lie
It’s
Psycho
Logical logical
Psycho logical
Psycho logical
It’s
Psycho
Logical logical
Psycho logical
Psycho logical
A Pretty Mean
She’s a pretty mean
She don’t keep it clean
Sulks the night away
Even Saturday
I’m not too obscene
Sayonara
c’est la vie
Say la de da
Say toodle oo
Say adios
Say au revior
See you later alligator
She’s theatrical
She’s tyrannical
I don’t clown around
I’m the stomping ground
All climatical
Sayonara
c’est la vie
Say la de da
Say toodle oo
She’s the drama queen
She made quite a scene
Busted the TV
Had too much chablis
She broke all routine
Say la de da
Say toodle oo
Say adios
Say au revior
She has lots to say
She don’t get her way
Hurts to see her go
Why I don’t know
I’ll miss her cuisine
Sayonara
c’est la vie
Say la de da
Say toodle oo
Say adios
Say au revior
Say after a while you crocodile
She’s a pretty mean
She’s a pretty mean
Wanna Be
Wanna be wanna be
Wanna be wanna be
Wanna be a chieftan
Wanna be on C-span
Wanna be a Greenspan
Wanna go to Sudan
Wanna be a chieftan!
Wanna be a chieftan!
Not good enough
As I am
I’m a cream puff
Buncha spam
Wanna be wanna be
Wanna be a Muscle Man
Wanna crush a beer can
Wanna fitness work plan
Wanna nice sun tan
Wanna be a Muscle Man
Wanna be wanna be
Wanna be wanna be
Wanna be wanna be
Wanna be wanna be
Wanna be better now
Wanna be fitness bro
Wanna have lotsa dough
Wanna be in the know now.
Wanna be in the know now.
Wanna have lotsa dough
Not good enough
As I am
I’m a cream puff
Buncha spam
Wanna be a rich man
Wanna fancy divan
Wanna catamaran
Wanna go to Japan
Wanna be a rich man
Wanna be a rich man
Wanna be wanna be
Wanna be wanna be
Wanna be better now
Wanna be fitness bro
Wanna have lotsa dough
Wanna be in the know now.
Not good enough
As I am
I’m a cream puff
Buncha spam
I’m a cream puff
Wanna be a smart man
Wanna clean brain scan
Wanna make the game plan
Wanna Sony Walkman
Wanna be a smart man
Wanna be a smart man
Wanna be wanna be
Late for Church
Woke up pretty late
for the Sunday morning date
I’m gonna flock
I’m gonna congregate.
Put the garbage in
the blue recycle bin
Not really an original sin
Got to get my favorite seat and
sing my favorite songs.
Got to hear how Jesus
has forgiven all my wrongs.
Stayed out too long
sucking pot from a bong
And now I’m
late for church
Caught in the heist
swiping money for Christ
And now I’m
late for church
Got tossed in jail
so I had to throw bail
And now I’m
late for church
Pilfered some dope
just to help me cope
And now I’m
late for church
I used the F word
as I flipped my bro the bird
buncha whining was all I heard
Cruised in late to work
so my boss went all berserk
so I called him a big fat jerk.
New lady in my life
too bad she don’t like my wife
so now I got a bunch of strife.
Kicked the dog down the stairs
’cause he’s peeing on my chairs
But I know that God’ll hear my prayers
Got to get my favorite seat and
sing my favorite songs.
Got to hear how Jesus has
forgiven all my wrongs.
Stayed out too long
sucking pot from a bong
And now I’m
late for church
Caught in the heist
swiping money for Christ
And now I’m
late for church
Got tossed in jail
so I had to throw bail
And now I’m
late for church
Pilfered some dope
just to help me cope
And now I’m
late for church
Got tossed in jail
so I had to throw bail
And now I’m
late for church
12 Witches
In the hill country of Texas – in San Saba and Lampasas counties – local legend tells of a coven of witches, called The 99. They say these witches have plagued their crops, their cattle, and their homes, since the early 1900s. Devil worship and strange rituals are being performed deep in the heart of Texas. And those rumors persist to this day.
And as happens – some damn fool made a song about it.
Heard about some ladies
They live not far away
They do strange things late at night
it sure looks like foul play
I snuck up and I watched them as
They danced around the flames
I saw those girls and I can say
That I know all their names
There’s Phoebe and there’s Rosie and there’s Suzy and there’s Jane.
It’s Katie and it’s Wanda and don’t think that I’m insane.
It’s Effie and it’s Mabel and it’s Biddie Tina too
There’s Mavis and Mercedes and I don’t know what to do.
Twelve witches coven
and they don’t like what they see
Twelve witches coven
and they’re coming after me
Twelve witches coven
thank God not ninety nine
Twelve witches coven
and I’m running outta time
I know all those ladies
They don’t live far away
I saw their faces clearly and
I think it’s my doomsday
All twelve of them together
I watched them dance around
They saw me and I ran for it
And now I’m going down
There’s Phoebe and there’s Rosie and there’s Suzy and there’s Jane.
It’s Katie and it’s Wanda and don’t think that I’m insane.
It’s Effie and it’s Mabel and it’s Biddie Tina too
There’s Mavis and Mercedes and I don’t know what to do.
Twelve witches coven
and they don’t like what they see
Twelve witches coven
and they’re coming after me
Twelve witches coven
thank God not ninety nine
Twelve witches coven
and I’m running outta time
There’s Phoebe
There’s Rosie
Suzy
Jane
Katie
Wanda
Effie
Mabel
Biddie
Tina
Mavis
Mercedes
There’s Phoebe and there’s Rosie and there’s Suzy and there’s Jane.
It’s Katie and it’s Wanda and don’t think that I’m insane.
It’s Effie and it’s Mabel and it’s Biddie Tina too
There’s Mavis and Mercedes and I don’t know what to do.
Twelve witches coven
and they don’t like what they see
Twelve witches coven
and they’re coming after me
Twelve witches coven
and thank God not ninety nine
Twelve witches coven
and I’m running outta time
Twelve witches
Twelve witches
and I’m running outta time
Twelve witches
Twelve witches
I’m running outta time
Twelve witches coven!